yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
