i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How does one acquire holy water?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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