Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
