I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
