So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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