ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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