Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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