Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
