Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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