Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He kissed a someone with a penis
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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