508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
