So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
PANTIES FOUND
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