I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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