She said her name was "party"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
