watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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