yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
