I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
