HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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