Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
