That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
