i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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