She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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