let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
