does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
