I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
