I didn't shave. On purpose
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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