I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
vagina is talking i cant
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
