just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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