Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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