Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
God, I missed his penis.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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