just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
