Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
