He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
