Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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