This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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