normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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