I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
