upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Randomize
