some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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