you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
