I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
