Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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