OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
