i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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