i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
