Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
