Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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