she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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