she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
