And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
