So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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