dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
